


Missing beats

by Mysig



Category: Fate: The Winx Saga (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:29:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29290626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysig/pseuds/Mysig
Summary: The series gave us many great scenes featuring Farah Dowling and Saul Silva, but they all felt a bit unfinished. This is my attempt at fixing it. Each chapter will start with a particular (canon) moment between the two, and explore the aftermaths that the show hasn't shown us. Farah/Saul endgame (I suck at summaries)
Relationships: Farah Dowling & Saul Silva, Farah Dowling/Saul Silva
Comments: 45
Kudos: 133





	1. Episode 1 - in the forest

Farah, Saul and Ben stood in the forest, aghast and speechless. At their feet, the dead body barely resembled a man anymore. Silva was the first to speak. “It’s fresh.” That much was obvious, but he could no longer stand the silence. Dowling, in a desperate effort to escape the truth, tried : “Maybe a wolf ?” Glad to see he wasn’t the only one temped by denial, the Specialist didn’t hesitate very long before he added tentatively : “or a bear ? Could have gone out to protect his herd. Got surprised.” In the meantime, Harvey got down to examine the body. Out of the three friends, he was definitely the most practical and down to earth, perfectly embodying the type of magic that inhabited him. “I’m happy to continue the guessing game, but…” With a steady hand and a sharp knife, he inspected the wounds to confirm what they were all dreading. His verdict was quick to pierce the heavy atmosphere. “This is char residue.” Saul gasped and Farah’s whole body tensed up. Though they had known it, the confirmation of the botanist left a bitter taste in their mouths.

They all had different coping mechanisms. The headmistress clamed up and turned into the cold stoic persona she built throughout the years. Ben remained his calm and analytical self, finding solace in his mission. Silva needed to do something, to strategize : “How long since the last sighting ?” The answer came from the other man’s lips. “About two decades.” It wasn’t long before Dowling jumped in. “Sixteen years. Rosalind was relentless.” She could have told them the exact number of days that had passed if they had asked. In an effort to rationalize, or to lessen their burden, the soldier said : “Could’ve been hiding in the mount-“ He was, however, unable to finish his sentence, interrupted by the curt tone of the blonde fairy. “She killed all the Burned Ones.” She _had_ to hang on to that thought. They all did. Harvey, in his true fashion, brought a more nuanced card to the table. “We thought she did.” But she couldn’t fathom the alternative reality they were diving head first in. They were safe. Everybody was safe. _Right_ ? “Ben, what we think is irrelevant. The Barrier’s doing its job. Until we know something for sure, let’s clean this up before gossip starts.”

_* * *_

Saul vas visibly conflicted as he watched the fairy walk away. He knew her better than anyone else, probably better than he knew himself, and it was clear that he needed to run after her. On the other hand, he couldn’t possibly leave Ben to deal with the corpse on his own. Trying to make up his mind, he glanced at his friend who immediately pointed at the path Farah had followed with a swift motion of the head. Harvey didn’t need to be an empath to read the Specialist’s mind. He was always so concerned with doing the right thing, following orders and honoring his duties as a soldier, that he often needed a push to follow his heart. “Go ! I’ll take care of him.” The smile on the botany teacher’s lips ended up convincing Silva. He turned around and started running in the fairy’s footsteps.

Farah Dowling was walking fast, making huge strides towards the school. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her breathing short. As much as she tried, she couldn’t stop her mind from racing, from imagining the worst. She remembered the war, sixteen years ago, as if it were yesterday. The fear in everyone’s eyes, the pain, the exhaustion. The losses and the grief. And the guilt.

She was so immersed in her own thoughts that she didn’t hear the approaching man and was startled when she felt his hand on the small of her back. She didn’t need to meet his eyes to recognize Saul, didn’t need to use her powers either. The touch was unmistakably his, and so was the smell. The surprise soon turned into comfort and relief. Very few people could understand how she was feeling. The weight of responsibility, heavy on her shoulders. They have dozens of kids who need protection, who rely on them. Little fairies and specialists in training, the future of the Otherworld, most of whom were born after the last Burned One’s sighting and haven’t known anything but peace and opulence.

After a few minutes of silence, Farah looked at the headmaster. “Saul… I’m…” scared. The word died in her throat. She couldn’t admit it out loud, it would make everything more real. “I know.” Silva’s voice, like Dowling’s, was weak and croaky, yet it made her feel at ease. He’s been able to read her for years, knowing that she would only snap at him when she felt afraid or insecure. “Me too, love. Me too.” Neither seemed to notice the affectionate nickname he let slip like he often does when he is too preoccupied to be careful. Or maybe they did, and chose to pretend otherwise, both too comfortable with the in-between they’ve been trapped in for decades to truly embrace their feelings.


	2. Episode 1 - in the headmistress' office

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first section of this chapter is a narrated version of the scene that occurred in the episode. Beyond the ( * * * ) is my rendition of what could have followed.

“I chained it up in a barn outside the Barrier.” Those was the last words of Farah’s story. Saul had stayed imperturbable throughout, tight-lipped, his teeth grinding. His tone betrayed the worry flooding his body, disguised as anger : “You should've killed it.” She was expecting this reaction, knowing the Specialist showed often less nuance than she or Ben could. He wanted things over with, and everyone safe. He wanted _her_ safe. “And left it in the human world?” she asked, almost sarcastically. She couldn’t have possibly done that. The humans were both clueless and unable to defend themselves against the Burned ones. It would have been a complete massacre, even worse than… “You should've brought it back here and then killed it.” Silva’s biting words interrupted her thoughts. She turned around, just in time to witness his eyes and his voice softening. “Did it break your skin?” Hers was barely audible when she promptly answered, soothing his concern. “No, I'm not infected.” Although the signs of his relief were barely visible, she could _feel_ it.

She decided to share more of her plan with the soldier, before letting any one of them get upset with _what ifs_ and _could haves_. “I've got Ben to make up some oil from the Zanbaq flowers in the greenhouse. I've dosed it. It won't be conscious for hours.” With Harvey’s know-how, there was no doubt that the unguent would work and that they could trust its effects. As the headmistress was about to continue, Saul tried to stop her : “Farah…” She was, however, unwilling to listen. “I need to get in its head. We need to know if this is an isolated incident or something more.” Afraid to understand what she meant, he asked, taken aback : “Something more? Like what?” The Fairy met the Specialist’s eyes for a few seconds, pondering what to tell him. She never hid anything from him, but she somehow did this time. Till now. “I found a changeling in the First World.” The depth of his sigh was the reason she hadn’t shared that information. It _was_ unbelievable. “A changeling,” he whispered, trying to comprehend. “I've not heard of one of those in centuries.” He hadn’t even been sure they existed. Her gaze was steady, her speech deliberate when she explained : “Yet there she was… left 16 years ago… right around the time the last Burned One was spotted.” Heavy with implications, the sentence didn’t echo very long in the dark office before he drew the correct conclusion. “You think it's all connected.”

For the first time in a while, Farah’s eyes refused to meet his. Swallowing her pride, she confided : “I'm struggling, Saul. Rosalind kept so much from us.” It wasn’t only that there were so many unanswered questions. They were now the ones in charge, left with only bits and pieces of the puzzles, and no one to turn to. “I'm worried about the students. The Alfea they know is very different from the one we attended. They have so much life to experience. Even if this world were safe, what they're going through can feel impossible. But this world isn't safe, and I don't know how long we'll be able to protect them from it. I know you feel it. The… shift. They've had order for so long, they don't know what chaos feels like.” There. She had poured every last thought that had been racing through her mind for the past few hours. They were both back to their natural state, equals in power and knowledge. In his own very specific way of telling her that he believed her, that he trusted her, Silva agreed : “They might soon.”

* * *

Farah turned towards the window again, gazing at the peaceful gardens of the school. She couldn’t help but wish lustful teenagers sneaking outside at night were still her biggest concern. The tip of her finger traced absentmindedly a small scar on her forearm, one of her many physical reminders of a much darker time. It was barely noticeable anymore, faded by years of more mundane worries. Without breaking the silence surrounding them, Saul took a few steps forward to stand next to her, shoulders brushing. He could feel the tension, the fear radiating from her body but nothing he could do or say would make her feel better. At least he thought.

“Do you remember those three weeks, when Sky, Terra and Sam were asking us a thousand times a day to tell them the stories of how we fought against the Burned ones ?” It was Dowling who broke the night’s quietude first, her voice choked and unsure. Silva chuckled, surprised by this sudden recollection, and totally unaware of where the fairy was going. “For a fleeting moment, we were the coolest people they had ever met. Oh the blessed days.” He was a lot more lighthearted than she was, able to find sparks of joy in the memory. “I thought they would never have to find out how much we sugarcoated it.” Her smile was bittersweet. The first question had come from Andreas’ son, one afternoon after Saul had taught him a new move. The adults all stiffened, abashed and unprepared. They had known it was bound to happen one day, but never gave much thought to it. Ben was the one to find the right words, and they all followed in his lead. They recounted tales of hide and seek and great races through the woods, of sword fights that scared the monsters away and powerful magical shields that held them at bay. They made it seem like the Specialist’s broken ankle was the most severe injury any of them had sustained. Farah wasn’t a mother, and she would never be, but the thought of these children getting hurt made her shiver. One could argue it was highly hypocritical as she had been crafting and perfecting their training programs for years, teaching them everything she knew so that they would be ready if it ever came to it. She was aware of the dangers the world still had in store for them, of the sacrifices the students of Alfea were ready to make. Still, it made her heart ache.

“Whatever comes our way, we’ll face it. We are more skilled and organized than ever before.” The soldier in Saul took over. It was unclear whether he was still talking to the Fairy, rehearsing a speech for his troops or desperately trying to convince himself. Probably a mix of the three. “We learned our lessons from the past. We _can_ do it,” he carried on. It didn’t mean that he _wanted_ to, but he had to find solace in their ability to fight. It was all they had left, if the battle was to resume. “Together, yeah ?” Instead of an answer, Dowling took his hand in hers, without ever looking away from the dimly lit greenhouse. She was biting her lip, in an effort to focus on the physical pain rather than the raging emotions tearing her soul apart. Silva squeezed her palm, and started to draw small reassuring circles on her skin with the pulp of his thumb. Letting a comfortable silence wash over her, Farah eventually rested her head on Saul’s shoulder and closed her eyes, without failing to peek at their intertwined fingers first. She would get to work in the morning, never slept much anyway, but for the moment, she decided to take a little bit of the time they reasonably didn’t have. Reason was overrated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the amazing comments you left when I posted the first chapter ! It was a first for me, and you made me feel so welcomed in this community. 
> 
> I hope you like the second installment of this little story. You know the drill, kudos and comments feed the muse !
> 
> Disclaimer : English is not my first language, please forgive any mistake that I've missed (and point them out so I can correct them, it will be appreciated !)


	3. Episode 2

**Facing the Burned One.**

“What do you expect to discover when you’re inside its mind ?” Saul asked the fairy, looking at a Burned One for the first time in over sixteen years. It sent a shiver down his spine. Of course he had believed Farah, but actually seeing it hit different. It reminded him of a past he had hoped was long gone. “Answers. I’ll sleep better knowing it’s a lone wolf.” He almost instantly said that he would sleep better knowing that it was dead, but they had already had this argument, there was no point in bringing it back once more. Instead, his question was tentative : “And if it’s not ? If there are more ?” Someone who didn’t know the Headmistress as well as he did would probably have interpreted her glare as disdain or anger. But all he saw was blinding fear. Fine, they wouldn’t go there unless they had to, unless they had reason to believe it, after she had done some digging. He let out a long sigh. He was powerless, all he could do was speculate, and he hated it.

Dowling kneeled in front of the Burned One, taking a few seconds to fight her dread back. Negative emotions made magic erratic, she didn’t need that. Taking a deep breath, she felt calm wash over her. Eyes glowed white. “Just be careful, Farah.” Saul’s voice was apprehensive, but she was ready and determined. Hand steady between her and the monster, she closed her eyes and began scanning the monster’s brain. She only made it through a couple of flashbacks before the creature unexpectedly woke up. The fairy was immediately pulled backwards by her specialist, preventing her from getting hurt.

* * *

The Burned one didn’t have time to attack, to fight back, and it wasn’t happy about it. A few meters away, just outside of the beast’s range, Farah was panting in Silva’s arms. Being forcefully disconnected from her magic was always a gruesome and somewhat traumatizing experience. Saul helped her get up, supporting her shaking hands, and guided her outside the shed.

“Are you alright ?” The concern in his look matched his tone. They sat on a root nearby as the Headmistress answered, sighing : “Yeah.” She started nervously rubbing her knees while trying to regain full control of her body and mind. She was not expecting any kind of resistance. Perhaps it was overconfidence, cockiness even, and it caught her off guard. “I don’t understand…” The Burned One shouldn’t have been able to move, it should have been out cold till evening at least. It meant that Ben’s Zanbaq wasn’t as strong as it needed to be. Or that she messed up the dosage. Or… “It happens. It’s feisty, this one.” The dark-haired man interrupted her thoughts, putting his arms around her shoulders. He was right, it wasn’t the first time that one of them acted out, in an unpredictable manner. There was still so much that they didn’t know about these creatures… Still, she couldn’t help but think that something didn’t feel quite right.

* * *

**In the Headmistress’ office**.

Dowling entered her office, closely followed by Saul who immediately informed her : “I spoke with my contacts in the other realms. No other sightings of Burned Ones.” She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, relieved. “So ours was just a fluke ?” Given how strong the creature was, she was glad there wasn’t more of them. Her half smile was, however, quickly wiped by the Specialist’s cautiousness. “Maybe, but it’s a dangerous fluke. The capitol’s prison is more secure than ours, and the queen would scan its memories if you asked.” The mere mention of the Light fairy made Farah’s jaw tighten. Even though they had to maintain a cordial relationship for the sake of their positions, the two women had always hated each other. Luna had felt threatened by her powers the moment she had laid eyes on her, during their first class at Alfea. She had, since, done everything she could to belittle and humiliate the Headmistress, often resourcing to petty arguments, knowing exactly which buttons to push. Power, family, love. “This is my school, Saul” she responded, between gritted teeth. Alfea was hers, it was probably the one thing the Queen couldn’t take away from her. Silva’s tone, firm yet benevolent, brought her back to the real issues at stake. “Yes, it’s a school, and there’s already gossip. And it’s only a matter of time before the kids cross the Barrier to find it. Please, let’s do this right. Let me arrange with the queen’s army to transport it safely.”

* * *

Farah felt a wave of shame wash over her. She had let her pride get in the way and cloud her judgement. Her gaze dropped. He was right, of course he was. She probably would have argued if he had wanted to kill the monster on the spot, but his plan was reasonable. “Fine.” The students needed to be their priority, always. The specialist sighed in gratitude. “Thank you”. He looked at her with a sincere expression on his face. He knew it was hard for her, and the last thing he wanted to do was gloat. He took a step forward and approached the Fairy slowly. He could see she was building walls around herself faster than ever and he wasn’t about to let her face her old demons on her own. “Farah… this isn’t like last time.” Their whole world wasn’t going to be shattered again. It was a fluke, a one-time worry that would disappear as quickly as it had arrived. “I’m gonna go, take care of it, and everything will go back to normal. I promise.” He tried to believe the hopeful words that were coming out of his mouth, but somehow his vow sounded fake. The war had left scars. Deep ones, physical, and even worse in their hearts. They had left things unsaid, undone, and came back to find pieces of themselves scattered around the realms. They still weren’t sure today that they had managed to gather them all. Farah’s fiercely protective self took over her body and she pulled Saul in a tight embrace. Whispering against his neck, she pleaded : “Don’t do anything reckless.”

* * *

**Saul is hurt**

“Headmaster Silva’s injured. I don’t know what happened to him. I think, maybe that monster thing ?” Dowling’s whole body tensed up. She didn’t notice Beatrix’s suspicious attitude nor read that she had ulterior motives. As soon as she heard the combination of the words _Silva_ and _injured_ , it’s all that mattered. All she could focus on. Usually very composed and professional, she couldn’t help but curse. “Damn it !” From then on, she functioned on autopilot. Her feet let the way while her mind was racing miles away. She hurried towards the greenhouse, losing her assistant along the way, but with enough clarity that she even managed to grab her coat by the door of her office.

A few seconds later, Farah stormed in the greenhouse, though it certainly felt to her like she had wasted hours roaming the corridors of the school. Entering Harvey's sanctuary, she didn’t see anything, anyone, beside a wounded Saul struggling under the healer’s touch. “I should’ve moved it right away, had more soldiers.” She took the full blame of what had happened. She regretted so much. No having been there. Not killing the Burned One earlier like he had suggested from the get go. “Guys, could we have the room, please ? We’ll keep you informed. Go on.” His voice was weak, but had such a resolute tone to it that the students obeyed, although Sky needed the Headmistress' nudge to be fully convinced. As soon as everyone was out, he dropped the act and let the pain take over his body. The mind Fairy rushed immediately to his side, resting his head on her laps and her hands on his shoulders. “It’s just us, Saul.” Ben’s voice, usually so calm and levelheaded, couldn’t hide his concern. Dowling’s face, too, was torn with anguish. Holding onto her gaze, Silva gathered some energy to tell them : “The Burned One was loose before we got there. I saw someone… in the road.” Every heavy breath he took flew into Farah’s loose strands of hair. She could smell the blood in his breath. “Someone let it loose on purpose ?” she asked him, refusing to trust what she was understanding. He nodded in an excruciating sigh. The two fairies exchanged a look, bewildered. It was a lot worse than they had anticipated.

* * *

Harvey had given a powerful sleep potion to the specialist as soon as he was done treating his wounds. There was no point in letting him suffer, the first hours of healing were always hard to cope with. They had then taken him to his suite, judging that it would be best if he could recover in his own bed, away from prying eyes. The two friends had spent the evening taking care of him, hardly ever breaking the silence. Somehow, the quietness managed to be both comfortable and heavy at the same time, but it was probably easier to deal with than any word they could have uttered. Maybe, just maybe, if their worries were hushed, they could pretend they didn’t exist.

“Get some rest Ben, you’re exhausted.” Farah looked at the earth fairy who seemed like he was about to drown in his chamomile. “I’ll keep an eye on him, you know I won’t be able to sleep anyway.” She could read the concern and hesitation in his eyes, but he finally gave in. “Alright, but I’m staying on the couch.” She smiled. Of course he was. She watched him stand up and empty his pockets in the palm of his hand. He handed her a first vial, explaining : “Zanbaq.” Meticulously, Harvey kept on placing bottles of medicine between the Headmistress’ fingers, stating what each of them was meant for. “Sleeping draught. And this one, you shouldn’t need, but it’s…” She didn’t let him finish this time, her voice soft, almost motherly. “… in case his fever spikes. And I am to wake you up if he loses consciousness.” Her gaze dropped to the potions she held tightly. “I haven’t forgotten.” They had danced this waltz countless times. Saul was almost always the one who took most of the shots, usually while protecting the two fairies, who in return refused to leave his side till he was out of the woods. It had been years, but she remembered everything as if it were yesterday. Ben put a hand on her shoulder, not wanting to burden the silence with meaningless words. He knew how hard it was for her, how guilty she felt. And she knew he wasn’t much jollier.

Barefoot, Dowling tiptoed into Silva’s bedroom, leaving the door ajar in case they needed help. She stopped by the bed and checked on the sleeping man. His breathing was slow and steady, his face relaxed. The medicine was working, at least for now. She laid the small flasks on the bedside table before settling in the armchair, by the window. The blonde fairy was no longer wearing her dress - it had been abandoned on her bathroom floor, covered in blood and char – and had opted instead for flowy pants and a comfortable blouse, foreseeing a long, sleepless night. Her hair, usually tied in intricate updos, was laced in a loose braid and rested over her shoulder. Eyes fixed on the moon, it would indeed be a while till sun rose.

Farah was awoken by low whimpers and the sound of movement against the sheets. She must have fallen asleep for a few minutes, but not enough for her neck to stiffen or her mind to cloud. Quick on her feet, she rushed to Saul’s side and wiped his frowned brow with a cold damp cloth. He was drenched in sweat, shivering, and his whole body was shaken by nightmares. She placed a gentle hand on his chin and dribbled a few drops of the blueish fever potion in his mouth. She then sat on the mattress next to him, careful to put as little weight on the bed as she could, not to disturb his sleep, and rested her fingers on his wrist. She could tell he was hurting, and wished she could do something about it, but she was forbidden decades ago to ever take his pain away. It was silly, she thought, he probably would never know if she did, but she couldn’t betray his trust. They say the bond between a fairy and her specialist is the most special and precious thing in the world. But she always disagreed. It wasn’t the bond, it was the trust. Faith. Loyalty. Respect. So she had to keep her word, especially now that he was in such bad shape. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if the last thing she ever did with Silva was go against his will. She stayed there, wincing with his every move, her heart aching as much as his body did. For a brief second, her eyes glowed white. She had sworn not to take on his pain, but they had never said anything about dreams. Searching her own brain for a happy memory to plant in his mind instead of the nightmare troubling him, she landed on one that never failed to put a smile on her face.

_A younger Farah Dowling was propped on her elbows, resting on a warm towel on a beach in Solaria. It was a hot summer day, and she wasn’t paying a lot of attention to the book in front of her, much more interested in enjoying the hot sun on her skin and people watching. Well, she wasn’t exactly watching_ people _, rather observing Saul and Sky, a few meters away, towards the sea. The Specialist was carefully teaching the young boy the basics of surf. They were still on the sand, rehearsing the moves before they could try conquering real – but tiny – waves. Silva kept on insisting that this sport was a perfect balance training and would be useful for the kid down the line, but the Fairy wasn’t fooled, he just really enjoyed it._

_A few hours later, the boards were stored away and Sky had asked her at least five times if she had seen him ride – his terms, not hers – an enormous wave, bigger than Alfea. It wasn’t until she had assured him that she hadn’t missed it, and she truly hadn’t, that he let go, chest puffed up with pride, and agreed to go swimming with Saul. She ended up following them a few minutes later, entering slowly the cool body of water, and stopping a couple of meters in, knees deep. “Auntie Farah, are you coming ?” The thrilled voice of the boy made her beam. Seeing her this happy and carefree was rare, but the two always managed to make her feel special somehow. Wanted, appreciated. “Yes, I’m coming. Give me a minute.” Sky squealed with delight, jumping up and down in excitement, and splashing salt water everywhere in the process. Dowling tried to protect herself from the splatter, in vain, her arms proving to be a very ineffective shield. She heard Saul’s deep laugh ringing in her ears while he was threading the water to come closer. She knew he was up to no good the moment their eyes met, and he proved her right almost immediately, declaring a water fight. “Sky, go ! It’s boys versus girls !” She was instantly drenched. Trying to blindly retaliate, she argued : “Hey, that’s not fair, I’m the only girl here !” It didn’t seem to convince either of them. The child responded matter-of-factly, already too smart for his own good. “But you have poweeeers !” She paused for a moment, hands resting on her hips and eyebrow arched as she asked : “Am I allowed to use them ?” This time, two male voices shouted in unison : “No !” Shaking her head, Farah finally burst laughing and conceded. She dove head first, disappearing in the sea, and grabbed Silva’s ankles pulling him underwater. She could fight too._

The rest of the night was uneventful. The mind fairy eventually sat back down in the leather chair, and tried to focus on the memory rather than letting her mind wonder in the darkest places it knew. She failed miserably. The deeper she sank into the night, the worst it got. It started with recollections of the previous times Saul got badly injured, and how glad she was that they could at least take care of him in the comfort of his own suite. It later moved to the adjustments she would need to make to the school’s schedule for the following weeks, to accommodate his recovery. She wasn’t fooled, the man would refuse any kind of special treatment and insist on teaching as soon as he could, but it was her job and her responsibility to make the best decisions for everyone. After the more practical considerations, her weariness brought emotions in the game. She wondered what would happen to the school and the students if he could never come back as Headmaster of the specialists. She would have to find someone else to take over the job, but how ? Alfea was his, as much as hers, she couldn’t do it without him. They couldn’t. From there, it all went downhill. What if he didn’t make it ? The Harveys had survived the biggest hardship already, losing Rose, she wasn’t sure they would be able to do it again. She thought of Sky, too. Most people only have one father, the boy couldn’t possibly grieve two. And then… What about her ? Farah felt her lungs tighten in her chest, making it hard to breathe. She had forgotten what it was to live without him. There were mere children when they met, their first day in training, and worked flawlessly as a pair since then. Silva was her anchor, literally. He was in charge of her body’s safety while she was too busy controlling her magic. He was life. He was shelter. She would never find any of that again, it would all be lost with him.

When morning came, tears had dried on Dowling’s cheeks. Her whole body was sore, and bags started to form and darken under her eyes. She watched the sun rise before finally getting up. She stretched her legs and arms, hearing her stiff joints crack, and looked at the sleeping man one last time before leaving the room. Ben was getting up in the living room, and smiled softly at her. “Morning.” Her voice was hoarse and barely audible, but there was no point in playing pretend with Harvey. “I’m going to take a shower. Early class. Will you be able to handle Mr. Grumpy on your own ?” He nodded, amused. They always joked that Saul was impossible when he woke up, his mood only improving with a large intake of caffeine. Farah stepped briefly in the kitchen and turned the coffeemaker on to make the earth Fairy’s mission easier, and asked, out of sight : “Ben ?” She immediately regretted not keeping her mouth shut. She bit her lip as she reappeared in his field of vision. Her eyes didn’t quite meet his as she whispered : “How did you know… Rose was _the one?_ ” There were dozens of reasons why this conversation wasn’t a good idea, the first one being that she hated to be the cause of the pain clouding his gaze. Secondly, because she was one of the most private person to ever walk the face of the earth, and Ben could read her like an open book. He, however, responded earnestly. “She was… home. Like I had found something I didn’t know I was looking for and whatever happened, life could never be the same again.” The Headmistress dipped her head as a thank you and opened the door to leave. She was halted by her friend’s question. “But Farah… You do know, don’t you ?” They looked at each other for a fleeting moment, but she didn’t answer and exited the suite, closing the door behind her. Did she ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your kind comments on the first two chapters, it warmed my heart, you have no idea ! 
> 
> I hope this chapter's length will make up for the time it took me to write it :) I'm trying my best to stay truthful to the characters and not go full OOC, but with so little to base the story on, it's quite hard !  
> \+ Mistakes are my own, no beta.
> 
> Please, as always, let me know if you have enjoyed it, and feel free to leave any thoughts/hopes/dreams/complains in the comments ! 
> 
> Until next time, thank you for reading ! :) 
> 
> PS : to anyone writing in this fandom, for this ship : I see you, I read you, I appreciate you and you inspire me so much ! ♡

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever attempt at writing a fanfiction, and my first work in English. I’d appreciate any feedback you may have for me. Please, feel free to correct any mistake I made, it would be a great help as English is not my first language. 
> 
> Comment and like if you have enjoyed this first installment, I’d be happy to continue. You can also leave prompts in the comments, I'll do my best to incorporate them in future chapters !


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